Oh yeah, I have a blog!

Well hey, internet. Remember that time I was getting kind of good at blogging, staying with it, etc?

Remember how that was late December? Yeah, I know. A quick overview of where I've been:

In January: rehearsed and performed Cher and Cher Alike (that'll let you watch the whole show, if you're curious) with my strange and delightful Bizarre Noir family, became an outreach assistant at Equinox and began a love affair with the gym (byeeee, Bally Sports Club), and went to many auditions. Developed an obsession with Audition Update that quickly escalated to new and unhealthy heights. Became one of "those people" who starts unofficial lists and makes it to the gym by 8 am. Found it wasn't so bad, actually. Got my picture taken with THE OFFICIAL WORLD SERIES TROPHY for the San Francisco Giants at Finnerty's.

Trophy tour 2013! And Ashkon was there.

In February: Continued to audition in all of my spare time. Finally (about 8 months late) got certified with the health department in order to further my goals of being a food-service professional (insert GIGANTIC eye-roll here). Pretended to care about football as much as I do baseball when the 49ers made it to (and heartbreakingly lost, grr) the Super Bowl. And received a spot of good news - one of January's auditions, for none other than my childhood favorite musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - panned out! And began rehearsing the next Bizarre Noir show, The Cat's Meow.

Sometime before kickoff. Still filled with optimism... alas.

Childhood dream fulfilled, part 1! Not the dream role, but certainly a step in the right direction.

In March: Continued auditioning like a mad woman. Ran into a brief snafu when my bar was closed down by our landlord for 36 hours and began briefly panicking about my unemployment future. Was much relieved to learn this was not the case, and began cancelling "just in case" job interviews I had lined up. Went to my first concert of the year seeing Swedish House Mafia in their farewell tour at Barclays. Celebrated my ALL TIME FAVORITE HOLIDAY, St. Patrick's Day, by working it for the first time... and finding I hadn't missed out much by not working in years' previous. Experiencing a MAJOR job perk by attending the Jameson Bartenders' Ball (and received a major gift from the hangover gods the next day when I awoke to learn I felt like a human).

Bartenders' Ball. Clearly a "before" shot.

Patty's Day at the Manch!

SHM at Barclay's Center. "We came, we sat, we're old." Oh, you mean that's not the tagline? Clearly a house concert is not my scene.

ST. PATTY'S. DAY.

This happened. And it was excellent.

In April: I opened The Cat's Meow, which, despite shaky beginnings and one very scary dress rehearsal, ultimately went off without a hitch and was a roaring (twenties) good time. Oh yeah, and my first onstage sex scene. So for those of you playing along at home, I have now committed suicide onstage (11th grade), had a hysterical drunken meltdown (senior year of college), killed someone else onstage (last summer), been naked in a callback (November), and now had sex onstage (April '13). Quite the track record. Dove back into auditioning, and got myself called back for Princess Particular at The Secret Theatre (didn't book) and got myself cast in Cyrano with the Hudson Shakespeare Company!

Look at that pretty postcard, y'all!

The Cat's Meow, finale. No, there are no sex scene pictures.

Which brings us to May. Last weekend we performed Joseph, which was - to be as cheesy as I possibly can be - every bit as much of a technicolor dream as I'd always hoped it would be. I may not have played the Narrator (my all time top dream role of life - listen, don't judge me) yet, but I couldn't have asked for a better experience doing Joseph for the first time. It was everything my six year old self had wanted it to be, and a little bit more even than that. As I've spoken about before, this show is the reason I do musical theatre today, and I cannot even begin to express properly how grateful I am to have had the opportunity to finally do the show.

Act 1 Finale - "Go Go Joseph" aka the song that made me love musical theatre.

And now here we are. This week, I'm rehearsing and performing As You Like It with Oxford Shakespeare Company. Next week, I'll jump full-swing into rehearsal for Cyrano with Hudson Shakespeare Company, and get more familiar with the PATH train and general Jersey City area than I'd ever really hoped to get (ugh). Also next week, we'll get started on Little Shop of Horrors at Bizarre Noir, which will mark my first adventure into choreography. I am trying to be excited about this instead of terrified.

In short, I'm really, really, really busy. I'm really, really, really trying not to feel overwhelmed. And right now, well, honestly... I'm not exactly taking everything in stride. 

There are moments where I know to be excited about all of this, that being busy in this way is EXACTLY what I want to be doing with my life and that things are kind of, sort of, falling into place. Professionally, at least.

It's just that personally, things are feeling a little messier. Joseph, though an tenuous experience at it's start, ended up being some of the most fun I've had doing theatre in a long, long, long time. And no disrespect to my Bizarre Noir family, who are indeed my family... but something about this was different. Maybe because it's a show I've wanted to do so long, or maybe because it was the perfect show at the perfect time, or maybe because unlike Bizarre Noir, I don't know when or even that there'll be a next one. 

And so working into doing something else that's just... well, frustrating, with... everything (read: boy issues and personal issues and holy crap I have no time or money issues) else that's going on, it's been harder to let go. So we press on, like boats against the current, ceaselessly borne back against the past... But like Gatsby, I'm going to keep believing in the green light. Keep moving forward. And someday quite soon, I'll be just as excited about these projects as I ought to be.

And hey. The sun's out. The 70 degree weather has arrived. How bad could it really be, right?