Sometimes I have thoughts.

So I decided, more for my own personal satisfaction - because let's face it, what blog ISN'T about internet navel gazing? - to put them somewhere. It's mostly that I'm too lazy to write in a real journal, and keeping a digital journal in Microsoft Word on my computer felt a little too lame. I don't know who will read this, but somehow having it be public feels like it might keep me honest.

It's February. Mid-February no less. I can't say I have any clue when this happened; since this (school)year began I feel like I've been running behind my life trying to catch up with it. I'm relatively certain I was in high school ten minutes ago, but now there are 96 days until my college graduation. Must figure out some summer plans; it's the best I can do as there are no easy answers for life plans when you want to be an actress. Fair to say the only thing I want to do these days is go home and lay on my couch with my dogs for a week.

Have been thinking about Next to Normal, which I finally saw, for most of today - it's like my dad's thing about movies sticking with you after you see them as a mark of how good they were. The show blew me away in the theatre, but its had a sort of sleeper effect on working itself into my consciousness. Have been listening to the music for most of today as well. The show is fucking phenomenal; it's a superbly constructed book and a beautiful score whose musical storytelling is pretty effortless. It's honest. It's very, very honest. And for this reason it's incredibly painful, but in a not super obvious way. Which is sort of nice, actually, and certainly very interesting. Also, one of the best ACTED musicals I've seen in a long time. A nice reminder of how much I want to do this, and how you can, in fact, create efficacious theatre with superb acting in a musical.

In other news, have yet to make a fool of myself in 2010! Improvement! Okay, or rather, have yet to make a MAJOR potentially facial-scarring inducing fool of myself. As it is mid-Feburary it seems an appropriate time to check in with my New Year's resolutions. I resolved to:

Start eating breakfast. Yes! I'm actually doing pretty well with this.

Eat healthier. Eh. As it happens, I think I AM actually doing better with this, but not lately.

Make it to the gym at least once a week. I think in the last 3 weeks I have gone at least once a week? Not doing super great on this one but I AM trying.

Manage money better. FAIL. Fail fail fail. Gotta fix this.

Make dean's list again/raise GPA. Not yet even midterms, so I have zero way to gauge my grades. I'm liking my classes and actually wanting to work hard for them though, so there's something.

Be more positive. Having a rough time with that lately. And in general. Gotta keep at it.

Read/watch the news. Also kind of a fail. Twitter gives me more news than the NY Times. Hopefully can fix this when I get a splitter for the cable.

See more live theatre. Saw a show yesterday! But it's the only one of 2010 so far. Also made a list of things I want to see. This falls into the category of the things I SHOULD be spending money on, being as it's my future.

Read more plays. Totally, albeit unintentionally, all over it - since the semester has begun, I have read 7 plays. And I have to read three a week for class alone.

Cut back on caffeine. FAIL. Fail fail fail. I believe this is what we call addiction?

So I'm working on it - it being the self-improvement. We'll see. Job interview tomorrow. Nervous, but very excited. Having to work every Saturday at 8:30 in the morning would suck, but I need the money. And something to do. So I'll see what happens.