Hurricane Sandy, gratitude, weekend morning running... And a side of everything else.

Hey there, blogosphere.

As some of you living in America (and Kitty Kat) may or may not know, we here in New York just weathered a hurricane. My neighborhood was UNBELIEVABLY fortunate - Hell's Kitchen suffered now power outages, no flooding, no downed trees, no damage of any kind.

I have to be honest - in the wake of what I remain referring to as Fauxrricane Irene, I didn't prepare for Sandy AT ALL. I battoned down the hatches, taped the windows, filled the tupperware, stocked the dry goods, watched the news and waited through Irene, which in New York city turned out to be a glorified heavy rainstorm that passed by 10 am the following day.

Sandy, on the other hand, turned out to be decidedly NOT that kind of hurricane.

What in the wee hours of the morning would become the most iconic Manhattan image of Hurricane Sandy.

This photo was taken at Avenue C and 8th Street, in lower Manhattan, on Monday night. Shown this photo before last week, I would have assumed it was taken circa several years ago somewhere in Louisiana or Florida. I could share countless more, but you, like me, have the internet and can find the images just as easily as I can. I'd show you a picture of my neighborhood but if you look at this last post
you'll find a picture of Hell's Kitchen and it looks EXACTLY like that post-Sandy.

My hurricane consisted of a very ordinary Monday at work - actually, a very BUSY Monday at work for people looking for an open spot to drink, concocting a DIY Hurricane Cocktail, and partying through the storm with friends. Looking back, this was irresponsible at best and downright dangerous and disrespectful at worst.

I still find this image HILARIOUS, but in the wake of what turned out to not be bullshit the way Irene was, it's also a little embarrassing how much and how closely I identified with this as I did literally all of those things except the cigarettes.

Throughout the week I've heard more and more stories of the devastation of this hurricane of a scale I frankly couldn't have ever expected here in the Northeast. Many of my friends were without power for the last 6 days, most could not work nor get into Manhattan, and I talked to DOZENS of people at the bar whose lives were COMPLETELY changed by Sandy, including an older couple who lives in the building I pictured above. Even friends lucky enough to live in neighborhoods untouched were stuck without being able to go to work and earn paychecks this week because their offices or restaurants were at best powerless, at worst flooded and beyond repair. I watched the news this week with a blank horror I rarely feel, and a powerlessness I have never really known in the face of nature.

Previously, the term "hurricane" hit closer to home for me than many other natural disasters as I had relatives live through Hurricane Andrew in Florida and Katrina in Louisiana. Those relatives checked in early and often, both last year for Irene and this year for Sandy, and their concern made me feel guilty for my own lack of preparation. And made me realize how naive I was to be so cavalier about something like this. It's NOTHING but lucky that I live in midtown instead of the East Village or Battery Park City and that I work in a neighborhood that also never lost power. I didn't deserve to get this lucky and my earlier cavalier attitude is coming back to bite me in the ass with a sense of proverbial Catholic guilt I never knew I possessed.

I grew up in reasonably idyllic California in the 2000s and didn't live in New York for 9/11 or any of its ensuing crises. At the risk of sounding cliché, this was my first real wake-up that things like this REALLY DO happen where I live, to people I know, to people I care about, and maybe probably someday, to me. There are dozens of ways to help and I will be finding them - this is too big a lesson to not act on.

The reason I say this is because yesterday morning and today, I went for runs that took me down the Hudson River to the west village, and it was AMAZING the difference between yesterday morning and Wednesday (my last outdoor run, when the power was still out). And the spirit of New Yorkers hell bent and determined to return to their routine was awe inspiring. This is a RESILIENT fucking city. That's something I hadn't exactly hoped to experience first hand, but it's been pretty amazing to see.

This morning in particular, I ran with what must have been dozens of folks here for the marathon, which was cancelled in the wake of widespread controversy about going on with it in spite of the hurricane. Though the marathon's cancellation is something with which I agreed wholeheartedly, the amount of people out and about to make the best of it was pretty great. I've heard many ran the distance today in Central Park anyway, a lot of whom did so to fundraise for relief efforts. OBVIOUSLY I'm not a marathoner (hi the two miles I did Wednesday, yesterday, and today were killer enough for me so 26.2 is not in the cards for this girl anytime soon) but it's still something I can respect.

I have spent the week telling people that my hurricane was "uneventful" and reiterating how lucky I have been, but it's only recently been sinking in how much worse it could have - and by rights maybe should have - been. I live two blocks from a river and ON AN ISLAND, for fuck's sake. It doesn't get much luckier than having no damage in that situation. To be frank, I've never felt more blessed.

In other news, life goes on, both in New York on the whole and in my life. Pre-Sandy, my beloved San Francisco Giants WON THE WORLD SERIES!

Just after striking out the alleged best player in baseball for the final out for the win. Storming the field. Picture me in a bar screaming and jumping up and down and maaaaaybe crying a little.

Me and one of my best friends JUST after the win and we both called to gush with our moms. This shit-eating grin stayed plastered to my face alllllll night and I'm pretty positive I woke up with it in the morning.

The hurricane hit the following day, and if you want my recap there scroll up or read the goddamn news.

In audition-land, everything was (unsurprisingly) cancelled owing to the hurricane and rescheduled for this week. Tomorrow I have Hong Kong Disney on tap before work, with In the Heights and an appointment for a new musical appropriately about New York Thursday. Back to Backstage, back to Actors Access, back to Playbill... back to life, back to reality.

I also have a real idea for a creative project... it involves Shakespeare, the High Line, site-specific theatre, and me actually really doing some work for the good of my own career. I'm excited and kind of terrified and we'll see what happens. More details to come when I have them. If I can pull this off it's going to be awesome... and if I can't, I will at the very least know I tried.

In fitness land, as I said, I went on three outdoor runs today. I have no idea if my gym was even open, because I was determined to be outdoors... and also because it's time to stop fucking around and getting my body used to how much harder that is than the treadmill (and because it's gotten really cold, and I signed up for a December race like an idiot). In my C25K training, I ran my first 20 minutes without stopping this week! It's not that much, I know... but my cardiovascular fitness has always been more dance oriented. And for someone who still remembers being made fun of for not being able to run one mile without stopping in middle school, it feels pretty damn good to look back at the fact that this week alone I have run six. I WILL get a series card at BDC this week and I WILL be dancing.

I also have to be honest - this post almost didn't happen because I woke up feeling shitty and cranky and angry today after going to bed feeling shitty and cranky and angry last night. Not all of it is resolved, but a lot was a much simpler fix than I thought... and it feels good, at the very least, to know that. Some of it probably stems from bigger issues, but I'm working on it. It also feels really good to know that whatever my (many) flaws, I've come a long way from where I was even this July where I would have bottled this up and lashed out inappropriately rather than accept how I felt and motivate myself to feel better and deal with it. Baby steps towards maturity, baby steps towards gratitude, baby steps towards a better me.

Where I've been running. New York's pretty fucking gorgeous sometimes, right? Here's to rebuilding, and here's to inspiration.

In which the transformation to responsible adult takes an alarming shift forward...

Okay, maybe not alarming.

But to begin with, I'm updating my blog twice within the same month! Given the recent trends, this has to be some kind of record.

Audition update:

Since we last spoke, the total is 9, of a potential 12. This my friends is pretty damn good! Not as good as I was doing when I was actually productive, but pretty good. 

Last Monday night I auditioned for 2 a.m., a new play with Manhattan Rep. Read sides and felt pretty good about it. The sides were loooong! I actually read a more or less full-length scene in an audition, which was odd. Funny scene about a girl who broke up with her boyfriend. His tactic to win her back is to pretend her breaking up with him spared him the trouble... only to have it totally backfire when it completely pisses her off and she unloads all the things she's mad at him for... toooootally not something I would do. Nope. Not at all.

Decided to pass on open calls on Tuesday as they were for Cirque du Soleil (for singers; obviously I have not gained a new and unhuman level of flexibility) and The Addams Family and let's face it, I'm just not dark and twisty looking enough. There may or may not also have been laaaaate night pancakes involved on Monday after maaaaaybe some cocktails that rendered getting up at 7 am out of the question. It happens. Baby steps. I worked heavily on revamping my website, however, and did some bonding with Backstage/Actors Access/Playbill. Not an altogether unproductive day.

Wednesday shlepped it to Brooklyn and Queens in the same day to audition for Pride not Prejudice, an educational touring company, and a new play at the Secret Theatre. And then to work. Did I mention I was in three boroughs in one day, if we count Manhattan? 

Thursday I finally conquered my fear of the AEA center! Okay, okay, I didn't conquer my fear of EPAs or ECCs (yes, this is embarrassing. I'm working on it. Kind of. Well I will, now that I'm not afraid of the building). But I did have an appointment for something there and I went in and it wasn't totally intimidating. Until I saw someone who graduated the year after me there who had an appointment for something Equity. Aka he was actually union. And a year younger than me. Ugh. Men have it so easy. Attempted to go to an open call for Hamlet that afternoon but I made a crucial error in forgetting that Shakespeare people are even more eager than musical theatre people... how unlucky for those around me that I am both. Anyway, this of course meant that showing up for this open call around 5:30 (it began at 4), getting a  time slot for "6:05" and overhearing that people who'd arrived at 3:45 still hadn't been seen. I overheard this at 6:30 and realized that, since the call ended at 7, the odds of me being seen were slim to none. Meaning none.

Couldn't get my shift covered for Monday of this week, which meant, sadly, missing the Rock of Ages Vegas call. Talk about something I'm actually right for. 80s? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP, PLEASE. 

One day I will make it to a Rock of Ages call and it will be great. A girl can dream, right?

Tuesday I got back into open call land for Stiletto Entertainment Cruises. I would love to book a cruise ship gig and it's one of my biggest goals in the upcoming year. 

It was at this call that I was struck again by how incredibly ODD the whole open call protocol is. You get up at the crack of dawn to sign an unofficial list and hope they'll honor it, and then sit corralled with 100 of your closest musical theatre friends as you listen to them warm up and watch them curl their hair and put on a full face of makeup. Before 9 am. My friends, this is not the kind of musical theatre girl I am in the slightest and yet this is part of my ordinary life. Last year, Columbia Guy somebody that I used to know pointed out to me that the whole audition culture is a very, very strange one. [Frankly, it was one of the things that endeared me to him but that time in my life has come and gone, and besides I have hashed that out EXTENSIVELY on this blog already (barf).] I had never thought about it that way until someone wholly uninitiated to my lifestyle pointed it out, but it's an astute observation. Auditioning in general is a weird notion, but I'll save my thoughts there for another post. Anyway, my return to open calling was shockingly painless as somehow, my 7:55 arrival time made me just number 13 on the list? CRAZYTOWN. Sadly, Stiletto likes to teach you music, meaning I was stuck in holding listen to all of my 100 closest musical theatre friends sing "A Moment Like This" over and over again. The. Horror. 

Left from there to go down to 440 Lafayette, or as I will forever know it Playwrights' Horizons, for another educational theatre appointment. I have never felt older than I did sitting at Playwrights on a freshman class day, listening to them talk about Writing the Essay and Intro to Theatre Studies and dorms. And hating on Strasberg! Got briefly indignant before I realized I was quietly resenting an 18 year old from afar, and this made me feel even older. Also, being at Playwrights also always has the uncanny ability to make me feel uncomfortable even this much time later, so it's never my favorite audition venue. Eh. It is what it is. My hacking cough of the morning was getting worse, so I decided to pass on the afternoon open call for Jean Ann Ryan entertainment. According to auditionupdate.com, it was a zoo, so I did not feel at ALL bad about this.

Wednesday I got up and did it again for Theatreworks and an appointment for Midtown Arts Center. Theatreworks was SHOCKINGLY efficient for their usual audition style (guys I love you, but seeing 20 people in an hour is so not okay) and it was with great surprise that I discovered being number 63 put me at the top of the 2nd hour. Finagled the two auditions in the same time frame with relative ease, and ducked out out Chelsea to get to Nola. Midtown Arts Center was casting Legally Blonde, primarily, and I was the ONLY non-blonde at the call. Awkward. Note to self: at least wear pink to those. Got back to Theatreworks and was pleased that the auditioner who brought me in from last years' open call for another show was behind the table and remembered me! Feel pretty confident about how I sang there so fingers crossed for results from that this year.

Nothing through the weekend - missed Amateur Night at the Apollo which would have been fun I think, but sadly my job beckoned. Tomorrow's agenda is Prather Entertainment Group open call and an appointment for a Lady Gaga musical. Oh boy. Disney on Tuesday, that's always a joy.

Meanwhile, in exercise land:

So, I've been training with the help of the Couch Potato to 5K approach and I'm liking it so far! It works by training you incrementally with longer and longer runs. Pretty good, for a devoted elliptical (aka non) runner.

It's not exactly turning me into the runner of my dreams, nor is it really taking away my hatred of running, but it's mitigating it at least and it's keeping me on task. AND, I ran outside for the first time. This for me is HUGE, because I generally maintain that I'm devoted to the treadmill because it eliminates the human laziness aspect of me... well, wanting to stop. Turns out, I can motivate myself to keep going, and it gives you a lot more to look at!

I haven't signed up for a race yet because I'd rather feel confident that I can do it and then have the luxury of choosing a race rather than stressing about picking a race and meeting a deadline. Odd, that's usually the opposite of how I work... but once I get into the longer training runs I'll get down to the race-choosing.

I also bought new running shoes FINALLY! They're hot pink. I've been lusting after these:

Nike Air Pegasus 29

But by the time I finally got my act together and wanted to purchase them, I couldn't find them freaking ANYWHERE. Well, at least in the right size and color. Listen, the pink is really important to me okay. If I have to be shell out and spend real money on running shoes, I damn well better enjoy being seen in them. So instead I took to the internet, and bought these instead. For $10 less and brighter pink, I'll take it... even if I have to wait on shipping.

Asics Gel Nimbus 33

I've been making it to the gym pretty regularly and I think I'm finally starting to find my groove. Next step is getting back into dance class and then conquering my fear of group exercise classes at my gym. That's the stupidest thing ever, of course, because I've been going to drop in dance classes for years and it's exactly the same thing... but somehow the idea of doing it at the gym for something that's not dance just seems really weird. I've also decided I want to give yoga another shot. God, definitely stay tuned for that hot mess, as years ago I decided I wasn't zen enough for yoga. Then again, I also NEVER thought I'd train for a 5K either. Baby steps towards becoming a fitness guru!

Life, in other news, goes on as usual. I'm trying to eat better and mostly doing a good job of it, although I haven't been to the grocery store in ages so I'm getting bored of the same 6 things I can make myself with the food that remains to me at home. Working a lot and more or less LIVING out of the Manch. I've only wanted to tear my hair out and run screaming from the building once in the last two weeks, so there's something.

Say hello to my workplace!

Got my first checks from acting gigs, which makes me feel more like a real actor and less like the building above owns my soul and sanity. It's the little things. I also have been doing so much waking up and going to sleep early that for once, my sleeping habits actually resemble those of a functional adult! It's really, really bizarre. Worry not, I have an out of town friend meandering about New York this week so I'm sure the next time I make an appearance back at this blog I'll have some debauchery to speak about.

Lastly, my beloved San Francisco Giants (who I'm watching right now, thanks MLB.tv!) clinched the NL West. #ORANGEOCTOBER. Get ready. 

This was the Giants' playoff anthem in 2010. I think the sentiment holds.

This productivity thing is weird. We'll see what else happens.